today i got to walk with 12 year old moses... not a super huge surprise considering he is one of my favorites (don't tell the other kids). he and i have been reading through "the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe" together (although he calls it "turkish delight") and i invited him over to read another chapter or two (the reward for making it through the book is to watch the movie).
while walking home he told me that his aunt and uncle have been treating him and his parents very badly (his parents usually live far away, but because his father has been very sick they moved back to stay with moses, who lives with his aunt and uncle). his mom has been staying home to take care of his dad, which means they have no income on their own, making them dependent on his aunt and uncle who are apparently not thrilled with the situation.
all this to say, when we got home i couldn't find the book so we picked up "the magician's nephew" instead. we sat on the swing together and he proceeded to read the first chapter... at least until he got to page 3 where polly meets digory, who has been crying. when she draws attention to this fact he says,
while he read this his voice got softer and slower until he stopped all together. he looked up at me with a very real pain in his eyes and said, "ba (miss) leslie, i can't. this book... it's too much."
i asked him if he'd like me to continue reading and he did, so i took the book and he scooted in, leaning against me, longing for just one thing to be stable and secure in his life. i read on, fighting back the massive boulder that had currently lodged itself in my throat and the tears that were ready to put on a major show.
sometimes i forget how real the pain i used to only read about in books can be here. it consistently catches me off guard and leaves me feeling terribly inadequate. i just pray that when these kids look to me for any kind of stability they are lead directly to the One who can give it.
