a tale of death and intrigue

"because i could not stop for Death He kindly stopped for me." -emily dickinson

well, i am glad to say, this was not the case for me, though it was a close call. "how can this be?" you ask. "such a vibrant young woman in the clutches of death? what could of caused such a near tragedy?"

let me enlighten you.

today my eye hurt. (many stories begin with a statement that foreshadows a deeper, more trying truth that will later be revealed as the story unfolds. well, with this story, that is exactly the case.) ahem...today my eye hurt. while my nature is to simply endure any kind of pain with as much complaining and as little action as possible, my parents were quick to inform me that the emergency room was the appropriate setting for my plot to unfold.

hesitantly i heeded their warnings. my fellow townhouse dweller was kind enough to escort me to the nearest hospital due to the fact that good vision was refusing to lend me aid enough to drive myself. finally we reached the safety of a trusted physician's care...or so we thought? (more foreshadowing)

the elder doctor, of whom it was promptly revealed to us that his appearance left much to me desired of the tall fervently good looking young male we had imagined, began varying rituals of numbing eye drops and unbearably bright lights. it was amidst these rituals that i began to notice a numbing sensation in my ears and a darkness seemed to fall over my eyes. i talked myself into believing that this feeling would pass, but the longer i thought this the more intense it became. so i concluded, surely i will lose consciousness, but no such relief came. than i realized that i no longer understood any words that were being said around me. somehow i was still able to follow the doctors instructions, but i didn't consciously understand his words.

i knew death was rapidly approaching. i thought to myself in a wild state of panic, "i'm going to die! i'm going to die in the er over some dumb eye irritation! i'm going to die in the er because i'm afraid of saying to this doctor, um, excuse me sir but i'm no longer comfortable with whatever you're doing to my eye because I'M GOING TO DIE! can't he tell that my vital signs are rapidly approaching NONEXISTENT!"

finally i decided that i would not let my embarrassment of possibly passing out determine my fate. i quickly said "uhhgaahhduhh" which roughly translates to "please help me because i'm going to pass out and/or die." (actually holly informed me that she didn't hear me say anything, but that i looked like i was about to have a seizure so she told the guy that i pass out easily and he should stop searching my eye and help me.)

he rushed me to a nearby bed so i could regain my strength. and 20 minutes later we were safely on our way with some lovely eye drops and a prescription for some serious painkillers. aha! death where is thy victory!

apparently i have some sort of corneal ulcer or something and i get to take these eye drops every 15 minutes till i fall asleep and then every 2 hours through the night and then see my eye doctor first thing in the morning. whopedido!

final thoughts: hurray for potent medication! ooh and fun little hospital wrist bands. i like those too!

my eye hurts

today i intended to be extremely fruitful with my time. apparently my intentions decided to keep this news from the rest of my body. bad, intentions!

8:00 - alarm clock woke me up

9:30 - i got out of bed

10:45 - went to darnall brick to pick up mortar to finish laying brick at the new shop. yes, i am now officially a brick layer...not really

11:20 - got to the new shop, realized i had about an hour before i'd have to leave, decided to eat, listen to adventures in odyssey, and open up some pottery that was delivered yesterday (yey!).

after that - got something in my eye. don't know what, don't know how, but it's still watering. oww!!

12:30 - left to work at the downtown store and make some phone calls

1:00 - realized that i lost the two numbers i HAVE to call or i'll be in deep bad stuff.

now - wasting time while i should be painting a display piece. maybe i'll do that now...see, i can be productive. it just take lots of wasted hours to get there.

creature of habit

i've come to the conclusion that i am a creature of habit and that habit's name is laziness. i know it is a hard truth to understand, but i love to do nothing!

i like to stay up late looking at nothing on my computer and sleep in even later.

i like to watch movies and read books and sit at a potters wheel for hours...with 1/2 hour breaks every hour to dance around and act like i have the talent of a professional. this, by the way, is far from the truth... bitter woe.

i like to sit at the computer when i'm at work, pretending to do something important and undoubtedly connected to the wildly fascinating world of ceramics, when really i'm writing about being lazy on my blog.

i like to play hide-and-seek with my niece and nephews, especially when one of the best hiding spots of the night involves me lying on the couch under a blanket. sweet wonder! (by the way, absolutely best spot to hide from 2 and 4-year-olds is behind a coat tree! who would have thought!)

i like to sit on the couch with candles lit and all the lights off except for mom's snow village and christmas tree.

i don't like to lay out by the pool. (lying in my own sweat for hours on end does not sound fun. if i'm going to sweat i might as well be doing something.) laying out in the pool however is a different story entirely.

unfortunately life would not lend me the time or resources to laze my life away...well maybe that's not such an unfortunate thing after all. we shall see.

the flowers have died there is no morning dew the cricket's know no love song...

so i'm genuinely depressed.

reason #1: the snow never came back

reason #2: i don't want to own a business anymore.

reason #3: i forgot to get a coffee when i was ordering and now it sounds too hard to get up again and order one. so i am currently coffeeless. this in itself should be enough to depress an entire empire. maybe that's how rome really fell.

in case you were wondering how i could be so close to a coffee counter i'm at panera. and just for the record, reason #2 isn't totally true. i'm just having a pouty day and am enjoying wallowing in it. so there. leave me be conscience! i don't feel like rising above!

snow and other random thoughts

it's snowing!!! at least it was. now it has stopped again bringing a heavy sadness that only a full blanket of snow can lift. i was driving home from church today and was unable to stop smiling because snowflakes as big as my eyes were coming down at rita mae, who' s poor front bumper has a hole in it. i hope it does not rust! (note to self, get that fixed) plus, i was listening to Christmas music which never fails to put me in a good mood.

as for the bad news, my poor sisters both have illness creeping into their families, and i can only pray that i do not fall to the same tragic fate, because i have absolutely no time for such tom foolery. running a business simply will not allow any sick days.

last night i was teaching my two 4 year old nieces how to play air hockey. not an easy task. one would hit the puck (or whatever it's called) and once it stopped a little over halfway across the board the other would pick it up and set it down so she could do the same thing. then they'd look up at me and smile because they new they were doing such a good job. i had to laugh to myself because how many times do i look to my heavenly Father with those same hopeful eyes thinking i did a great job when really i have so much yet to learn. i can picture Him laughing to Himself and shaking His head at me. "good job, les. that will do just fine for now." thankfully there is time to continue to grow and i have a God who will patiently be there with me every step of the way.