a tale of death and intrigue

"because i could not stop for Death He kindly stopped for me." -emily dickinson

well, i am glad to say, this was not the case for me, though it was a close call. "how can this be?" you ask. "such a vibrant young woman in the clutches of death? what could of caused such a near tragedy?"

let me enlighten you.

today my eye hurt. (many stories begin with a statement that foreshadows a deeper, more trying truth that will later be revealed as the story unfolds. well, with this story, that is exactly the case.) ahem...today my eye hurt. while my nature is to simply endure any kind of pain with as much complaining and as little action as possible, my parents were quick to inform me that the emergency room was the appropriate setting for my plot to unfold.

hesitantly i heeded their warnings. my fellow townhouse dweller was kind enough to escort me to the nearest hospital due to the fact that good vision was refusing to lend me aid enough to drive myself. finally we reached the safety of a trusted physician's care...or so we thought? (more foreshadowing)

the elder doctor, of whom it was promptly revealed to us that his appearance left much to me desired of the tall fervently good looking young male we had imagined, began varying rituals of numbing eye drops and unbearably bright lights. it was amidst these rituals that i began to notice a numbing sensation in my ears and a darkness seemed to fall over my eyes. i talked myself into believing that this feeling would pass, but the longer i thought this the more intense it became. so i concluded, surely i will lose consciousness, but no such relief came. than i realized that i no longer understood any words that were being said around me. somehow i was still able to follow the doctors instructions, but i didn't consciously understand his words.

i knew death was rapidly approaching. i thought to myself in a wild state of panic, "i'm going to die! i'm going to die in the er over some dumb eye irritation! i'm going to die in the er because i'm afraid of saying to this doctor, um, excuse me sir but i'm no longer comfortable with whatever you're doing to my eye because I'M GOING TO DIE! can't he tell that my vital signs are rapidly approaching NONEXISTENT!"

finally i decided that i would not let my embarrassment of possibly passing out determine my fate. i quickly said "uhhgaahhduhh" which roughly translates to "please help me because i'm going to pass out and/or die." (actually holly informed me that she didn't hear me say anything, but that i looked like i was about to have a seizure so she told the guy that i pass out easily and he should stop searching my eye and help me.)

he rushed me to a nearby bed so i could regain my strength. and 20 minutes later we were safely on our way with some lovely eye drops and a prescription for some serious painkillers. aha! death where is thy victory!

apparently i have some sort of corneal ulcer or something and i get to take these eye drops every 15 minutes till i fall asleep and then every 2 hours through the night and then see my eye doctor first thing in the morning. whopedido!

final thoughts: hurray for potent medication! ooh and fun little hospital wrist bands. i like those too!