super hero wannabe

so since becoming a teacher (something i've always stated with conviction that i would never be) here at lifesong, i have learned one very important thing.


teaching is hard.

not accurate

really hard.

more accurate

super hero powers required hard.


so here i am, feeling like clarence, waiting to receive my super hero cape (aka: wings), hoping that maybe, just maybe, the next bell that rings will be all for me.


i spent almost an hour this afternoon speaking with a fellow teacher on how she does it.  she was talking about how as teachers we need to be neither hard or soft, but firm, so that the children know that it is necessary to respect us (the biggest issue all of us have experienced with these kids), to which i replied, "how in the world do you do that?"


she laughed.


"one thing i know is that as teachers we do as much learning as we do teaching.  i used to wonder the same thing, but in time it comes.  don't worry.  just remember you are learning too."  (aka: cut yourself some slack)


in my head i know she's right.  but instead my heart (or my stomach, i'm not sure which) keeps telling me that the reality is i'm just failing.


i know that's not true.  well, i think it isn't.  actually i kind of think it is i just hope it isn't.  no, the truth is  i do know it's true.  how depressing! (exhibit a: my thought process)


but if i stop feeling sorry for myself and stop taking myself too seriously i realize that, yeah, maybe i'm really not doing a great job on my own.


but i'm not supposed to be doing a great job on my own.  i'm not capable of doing a great job on my own.  i will never reach super hero status.  but i do know someone who is already there.  and as long as He is walking this dusty african road with me, i guess i don't have too much to worry about.